Jon (Jon-Jon)

The Man, The Myth, The Weird

Jon. Jon? Jon. Raised by a lone serpent in a forgotten temple deep in the forests of some unknown plane of existence, Jon was taught early on the value of friendship, loyalty, And strangulation of your enemies. He grew to be a deft and funny lad, slithering along the ground, thinkin' he was a damn snaek. Yo, one time I saw jon try to swallow a gumball machine whole. We had to call the fire department. Who is Jon, you may ask? Damn, I don't know, I need to refer to the sourcebook really quick. Ah, here we are. it is written that in the time before Antenora, before the great Robotrip Dream Years, A boy was found, lost among the wreckage of an Elder Snake God's warship. This was a time when his father, the most high warlord of the race of Serpents known only as S'ewukwu, had conscripted every able-bodied serpent to fight in the war to re-take the crab-nebula, thus resulting in a great and crushing defeat for the serpents, leading to a period of what is now called, the Crap Nebula Blues. Jon was found amid the wreckage in a lone outpost at the edge of the Cary/Morrisseville border. Given food and water, and nursed back to health with a blunt and a few Miller high-lifes, we began to see the life come back to his little baby-waby cheeks once more. Through various and perilous quests, adventures, skirmishes and wars, he has remained true to the Dirt Tribe, and has always fought valiantly alongside his comrades. Cheers to you, Jon! You nasty ass...